Regre-Shaarne: 10 Reasons Why Moving Home Is Cool And Not Lame

Ahhh, the old "moving home to be a student after years of independence" boogie, isn't that a tricky step to pick up?

After going out into the Big Wide World, finding that it sucks and being thankful that incomplete degrees don't have expiry dates, you have a moment of self-realisation in the form of motherly nagging wearing you down. Knees buckling, one returns home to the smug look on her face, the one she's has been saving for three whole years, as you suck it up and come home to study.

Visions of Paula Abdul screeching "two steps forward, three steps back..." in an alley, singing significantly worse than a cat flash before your eyes.

Oh it's a bitch...

Or is it?

Lets go through my favourite reasons for being the prodigal son. Or daughter as it were:

#1 - Meals include BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO two minute noodles and/or toast. BIGGIE.

#2 - One never has to worry about not knowing whether you are cold. As long as there is skin showing, you are cold. Snow, sleet, hail, motherfriggen heatwaves = cardigan weather. It doesn't matter what you feel, you are stupid and can't be trusted. Go put on a damn sweater.

#3 - Person you're seeing wants to get it on but you're not into it? Problem solved! Aint nothing freaky-naughty going on as long as you're with those roommates, amigo. Unless, of course, your folks are the type that reminisce on the Sexual Revolution and find pants restrictive. You guys tend not to move home anyway, just stay in the accounting dorms or whatever.
(Yes, some may see this scenario as a downer but I'm fucking making lemonade over here!)

#4 - Towels. Sweet, venerable Christ. Are home towels good or what? I mean seriously, they must use crack as fabric softener.

#5 - Being sick. Lets face it, when you first leave home and get sick it's the worst feeling in the world. You are drafting wills, convinced that every breath is the death rattle and all you really need is some goddamn exaggerated sympathy. Sometimes you don't even know you are sick yet (Much like #2).

Bring on the hotties, lemon-honey drinks and Vicks vapor-rub bitches!!!

#6 - Laundry. No, they may not actually do it but the omnipresent sense of guilt that one continually has tends to lessen the likelihood that the pile isn't left so long that it forms into one giant misc item that smells like ass after the third wash.

#7 - General hygiene. A million percent.

#8 - It's a scientific fact that schoolwork productivity will go up a million percent also just to shut them the frick up.

#9 - Farting is acceptable. You guys have worked up trust over the years and that isn't always so easy to do in a flat. Same goes with general toilet use.

#10 - Food. I don't care if it has been covered before, it's that important. I love food so much that sometimes I think my heart is going to burst from joy.

Yeah I did scientific testing. Yeah those statistics are for reals.